"I grow back like a starfish...."

My issue was this nonexistance experiance
I didn't experiance myself existing in anyways
That's a shamefull thing to have
Having no opinions, no goals, no judgement, not identify with no thing
I couldn't feel any "me"
"Me" was always diluting in other people
I didn't have any borderline
I couldn't figure out line where I was ending and other person beginning
at first it was painfull because I felt worse and having no "me" was very silly thing to suffer from
I didn't have anything particular to say I had only emotions and reflections of other people
I didn't feel as a person
I didn't know what to do with existance, so I wanted it to be over
My notorious answer was: "I don't know."
"I don't know." and "I'm sorry"
I was so ashamed "to be"
To be undefined
Like this
Identity is something that most of people put on, in order to ground us with existance
I just couldn't lie about this unindetification
so with no identity, purspose, whatsoever shape,
I was like a liquid that spills constantly
Like a mime that mirrors other people faces
and immediately tunes himself to their frequencies
But they had a frequencies
I had nothing of that sort
I was travelling materia in motion
I was the mirroring liquid
I had only eyes to look

Now I say to myself
I'm
This is me
I decide
I create
I'm alive
It's always now
and

That helped

I recognized the existance in me
Now I walk more courageously
I joyfully design me
realities
life
places

I go for the best and the highiest dreams

Because identities are lies
The core is very same for all of us
ability to melt with people is a good gift
It's chance
for good mission...
Fearlessness is a good place to be in
and fearlessnes is a choice that I've learned to make
always
again and again
because doubts are always going to come....