The world is playground

It´s ok
If the world ends
We create the new one
That is our kind of thing that we have
There will be no pitty for the old one
Because it was somebody elses
And it wasn´t perfect
Made up worlds are the only worlds

I really wanted to save you but
I have saved myself accidentaly
It was gold for gold exchange
More beauty in life for more beauty in life

I´m smiling
I´m safe here
Two heands heart and head
Is that plenty that I always have

"I grow back like a starfish...."

My issue was this nonexistance experiance
I didn't experiance myself existing in anyways
That's a shamefull thing to have
Having no opinions, no goals, no judgement, not identify with no thing
I couldn't feel any "me"
"Me" was always diluting in other people
I didn't have any borderline
I couldn't figure out line where I was ending and other person beginning
at first it was painfull because I felt worse and having no "me" was very silly thing to suffer from
I didn't have anything particular to say I had only emotions and reflections of other people
I didn't feel as a person
I didn't know what to do with existance, so I wanted it to be over
My notorious answer was: "I don't know."
"I don't know." and "I'm sorry"
I was so ashamed "to be"
To be undefined
Like this
Identity is something that most of people put on, in order to ground us with existance
I just couldn't lie about this unindetification
so with no identity, purspose, whatsoever shape,
I was like a liquid that spills constantly
Like a mime that mirrors other people faces
and immediately tunes himself to their frequencies
But they had a frequencies
I had nothing of that sort
I was travelling materia in motion
I was the mirroring liquid
I had only eyes to look

Now I say to myself
I'm
This is me
I decide
I create
I'm alive
It's always now
and

That helped

I recognized the existance in me
Now I walk more courageously
I joyfully design me
realities
life
places

I go for the best and the highiest dreams

Because identities are lies
The core is very same for all of us
ability to melt with people is a good gift
It's chance
for good mission...
Fearlessness is a good place to be in
and fearlessnes is a choice that I've learned to make
always
again and again
because doubts are always going to come....

I found her finally

Anne Teresa de Keersmaeker
Fase, 4th part: The Violin Fase
four movements studies to the music of Steve Reich
Many years ago it caused bliss in me, watched on the big screen in Cracow as a part of the Dance Video Festival
I think only violin fase works out of all four...
Other parts are dry, here is a drama going on
maybe her dramatic breathing
maybe fabulous forest scenery...
unstatic camera and filming that follows the whole development of the music plot...
the abstract drawing on the sand....
the process.....
the sweat of the dancer...
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Maybe violin music can ever avoid being not dramatic?
My found old passion is here
The dream started somewhere there
The path that I didn't go
This piece is not really what Steve Reich and minimalists are about
it is rather betrayal of the minimal manifesto...

I have poor ability to focus on one thing, here I can...
It get's into the heart beat....

Czesław Miłosz ur. 30 Czerwca 1911
Miron Białoszewski, Białoszewskawy ur. 30 Czerwca 1922

Karolina Bogusławska ur. 30 Czerwca 1980
sooorry guys looks like I just have no choice. huah huah


I
me
I do
I'm
I love...
I dream...
I would love...
I'm so fascinated...
I'm so proud...
I'm so....
I'm depressed...
I'm stunned...
I adore...
I'm fascinated...
I'm heart broken
I slept bad last night
I do love it

Monday: me, Tuesday: me, Wednesday: me
I'm on the breakfast
I'm on evening chat with a friend
I'm for the breakfast

This is fine
This is right
This is wrong
This is spectacular
This is amayzing
This is driving me crazy